Highs and Lows

Today I think I had some of my highest highs and lowest lows. The whole day seemed to be one big roller coaster. I started out my day fine then it got bad, then better, then worse, then great.

This afternoon, I had my first counseling session with a new counselor. She was great. We mostly talked about my Dad. Lately, I have been having a really hard time shutting down my thoughts. I just want to know, when will I quit replaying those few days in my head? I think I am going to write it all down. Every single detail I can remember. As awful as it sounds, I think the reason I replay it all so much is that I'm so scared of forgetting. Though, I don't want to remember it either. Maybe if I know I have it in writing, I won't have to think about it so much?

After I left there, I headed out to Summer's for a pajama party with my girlfriends. I didn't want to go, but I never miss a girl's get-together. I really just wanted to go home, curl up in bed, and cry. I'm glad I didn't. I think I spent the entire evening laughing. My girlfriends have a way of cheering you up like nobody else. Thank God for them.

Now as I sit here at 1am, I don't know how to feel. I feel drained. I could go either way. Maybe I should just go to bed?